We’ve all been there. We’ve all found ourselves sitting beside an empty pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a mountain of used tissues absolutely sure that you will never feel whole again.
Well I am here to tell you that you are going to be okay. Hell, amazing. I can guarantee you that if you come out of a relationship with the right outlook, you will emerge not only a stronger, more independent person, but also a happier person with a better sense of who you are.
Often times we believe that if we roll up our sleeves and put in some hard work, our relationships can be fixed. This, however, is rarely the case. Break ups happen because a relationship is broken and some things just cannot be fixed.
It’s time to relieve yourself from the insufferable pain of letting the one you loved go. It’s time to relieve yourself from the unrelenting hope that it will work out some day. It’s time to reclaim our independence. Here’s how:
Get your shit back immediately. Don’t drag it out. Find every single gross ass pair of boxers they left in your apartment and give them back. Get back your favorite necklace you left there last time you slept over. Get it all back and do a huge load of laundry.
Don’t jump into a new relationship. I have struggled for this one for years. While it may seem comforting to have a new person to focus all of your attention on, all you are doing is postponing the heartbreak. If you do not give yourself time to cry it out and feel the heavy emotions of your break up, you will never truly move on from your ex. You will hold on to the love and the hate you feel for them forever. You will move backwards instead of forward.
Block their facebook page from your browser. Download the extension blocksite (available on all browsers). There is absolutely no reason for you to waste your time over-analyzing the picture he was tagged in with some girl you’ve never seen before and stalking her, too. You are SO much better than that.
Delete their number. No drunk dials allowed. Not speaking to them sends a signal that you are moving on with your amazing life and no longer need him in it. While you’re at it, delete them from snapchat. I’m sorry but who gives a shit if he got a burrito bowl today and then went out with his friends for beers? Not an independent person moving on with their life, that’s for sure.
Sell any presents they gave you. This one’s my favorite. Honestly, why hold on to old presents that remind you of your ex when you can just use the money you make off of the earrings (that you pretended to like) to buy yourself something you actually like?
Buy new underwear and PJ’s. I don’t know about you, but when I’m in a relationship all I sleep in is their clothes. Treat yourself to some cozy PJ shorts to netflix in and lacy bras that they will never have the pleasure of seeing you in.
Purchase Melatonin. If you’re having a hard time sleeping without your ex you’re not alone. This can be one of the hardest things to adjust to. Spend your nights drinking wine and watching movies with your roommates. Then pop a melatonin to help you pass out the second your head hits the pillow.
Stay Busy. Channel all of your energy into something new. Reinvent yourself. Take up running or start a youtube channel. Get a group of friends together and go out for a boozy brunch. The more you spend your time doing things you love and taking care of yourself, the less time you are spending wallowing in your sadness.
Learn. Your boyfriend cheated on you? Do not date a cheater again. Your boyfriend was a binge drinker? Don’t even think about dating one again. The only way to move forward is by learning from your mistakes.
Regardless of where you are in getting over your break up, know that this is a pivotal moment in your life. Ahead of you lies new opportunities, jobs, cities, experiences, music, men, women, etc. You have nothing and no one holding you back anymore. Know that this is a new beginning for you and there are so many amazing things on the horizon.
As always, if you ever need a pep talk or someone to rant to, feel free to shoot me an email at email@example.com. And feel free to comment below and let me know how you survived your break up!
photo credit: cover